I Heart Googling...

... for interesting Bible quotes.

"If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity."
- Deut 25:11-12

"No one who is emasculated or has his male organ cut off shall enter the assembly of the LORD."
- Deut 23:1

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
- Ezekiel 23:20

"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them."
- 2 Kings 2:23-24

2 Kings 2:11 - "As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind."
John 3:13 - "No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man."

Matthew 5:16 - "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your father in heaven."
Alright, Jesus! Yeah Baby!
Matthew 6:1 - "Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them."
Ugh... what now?


John 5:31 - "If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid."
John 8:14 - "Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid."


These were just some of the results after 10 minutes of looking around. Now tell me how anyone can seriously take the bible literally and I will buy you a chocolate bar.

My point, exactly...